Dating Tip #1

I made a decision today. This blog can't be all negativity and cynicism. If I were to only publicly humiliate the anonymous gentlemen who make utter fools of themselves in pursuing me via e-mail or on awkward first dates, then I would be a cruel and insensitive bitch. I must show these lost souls to the light of normal human behavior and social correctness.

Therefore, I shall offer words of wisdom to my audience (all 10 of you). Sure, some of you might find these tips as obvious as Kim Kardashian's divorce, but trust me, there are LOADS of dudes that I interact with who have no clue.

So I shall begin with my first tip, which is in no way the most important nor is it related to the most egregious mistakes that I've seen. I only thought of it after a recent e-mail exchange with a potential suitor.

#1: ASK SOME DAMN QUESTIONS.

We're complete strangers and conversing with you via e-mail is extremely awkward and forced. I need you to give me something to work with here. You know how I asked you 15 questions in my last e-mail on everything from your favorite movies to your preferred super power if you were to magically to become a super hero (yes I've asked that). Yea... That was all for a reason. I want to give you something to write back about. I want to get to know you. And probably most importantly, I want to make sure you aren't a total crazy. That's the whole point of this. When you answer back and ask me nothing in return, I'm not really sure what to do. I assume you want me to e-mail you, or you would never have answered me. But what am I supposed to say? "Yea... Inception is pretty awesome..." "Haha... Invisibility would be pretty 'sweet.'" But then what? I don't want to come off as totally self-involved and instantly talk about myself. That's rude. And your inability to ask me anything at all about myself makes you out to be completely self-involved.

So dudes, TRY. Ask me about my job. Ask me if I like the new Bon Iver album. Ask me to pick my favorite Power Ranger (pink, DUH). Just ask me something.