Guest Post: The Poetic Verses of Love

I love guest posts!  Not only do I get to take some time off from writing the bulk of my posts, but they also remind me that I am not the only one slogging through the trenches of online dating.  Last week, I got an e-mail from a friend; she has recently rejoined Match.com and has already received a "very special" e-mail.  I'd like to call it a poem of sorts.  Here's how she introduced it:

Read it out loud for full effect. Try not to pee yourself.

Here's the e-mail.

Hi,

I'd like to meet and begin a friendship
For a good positive talk, I consider myself a balanced man
I am looking for the love of my life, a woman initially with a good
friendship
I love looking after my body and mind through exercise and various sports
Lately I'm practicing tennis, hiking and visiting the naturaleza
Taking good habits and good costumbres and weigh my positive life
I like to dress as the occasion is and weekends with sportswear
To share the day with people, in harmony with life and nature
You are a very interesting person
In the paradise of your eyes,
I lose because I'm lost
at peace with your lips,
I feel that I am with you
in the universe of your soul,
I live a thousand ways
in you, live in love, dreaming of you
Have sweet dreams and I'm sending you a big hug

My Skype = XXXXXXX
Mail : XXXXX
@
Hotmail
com

I just peed a little.