Redonk E-Mail Roundup: Hide and Seek

I get some good e-mails while online dating.  Here are a few of my current faves:

 ;::hi :) - In an e-mail that amounted to only 8 characters, he has managed to utilize not only poor/nonsensical punctuation, but also an emoticon. :(

Wow, your over 6 feet. That's hot. Wow - Apparently, my height inspires both awe and grammar fails.

Hey, what's up? How is your Thursday night going? 58% okcupid-based matching isn't too bad, right? :)) - Actually, since it's out of 100, I'd say that's failing.  Also, your emoticon has a double chin.

Are you a spelling bee contender or a dictionary sales person? - Listen up fella:  I like an inventive and fun opening line, but what does this even mean?  Oh and your 5'9."

Hey are you looking for a friend with benefits? - At least he's direct?!

Where have you been hiding omg you are so beautiful? I like the smile and want to know.
Do you know how to swim, fish, dance or have you ever been to Texas - Shit... He found me.  I need to find a better hiding place.

Sure, I may still be single, but at least I'm entertained.

Strangers With Benefits

I got this little ditty from a COMPLETE STRANGER in Georgia.

Hey,

I really like your profile. I'm gonna be in Boston next weekend and will have all of Monday off(the 6th). And I was wondering if you'd like to hang out. I'm there pretty often, so maybe if we're into each other we can get a friend's with benefits thing going. Let me know what you think when you have a chance.

patrick

While he is a hot weirdo, he is also a weirdo who seems to be a bit confused with the definition of "friend."