Since I started this blog and confirmed that I am quite the online-dating veteran, I have been asked one question several times from various friends who are thinking about delving into the internets to find love:
Which site is the best?
This question is rich and complex, as everyone will have a different answer. The opinions below are based on my experiences, and a more lucky lady/fella may have great luck on a site that I would describe as a pit of loneliness. And trust me, ladies, you will find Captain Crazy and his League of Incredibly Disappointing Gentlemen, just as dudes will find a good amount of daddy issues and crazy cat ladies, on all your options, but I do think some sites have more winners for some.
I'll start with where I started many years ago: Match. For me, Match has seemed to have the most legit characters. Most of my dates have been with dudes from Match, but based on this blog, that may not be saying very much. I enjoy that you can search based on height. The pitfalls? It's pricey, and more than once, I've forgotten to cancel my account before they've automatically charged my card to renew my membership.
OKCupid is by far the most entertaining of the options. Why? Bulk. OKCupid is free, so a lot of people use it... and when I say "people," I mean weirdos. Most of the e-mails I post on this blog are from OKCupid. To be fair, I have gone out with a dude or two from this site, and I really enjoy the quizzes, which help them match you to potential suitors. This option also allows you to search based on height, a feature that many short male members don't seem to use. I get so many messages from guys 5'9" and below on this site.
eHarmony is another popular option. I am not a fan. The reason why is a bit selfishly motivated. You see, eHarmony doesn't consider height to be a dealbreaker. In other words, even if I rank height above 6'0" as "very, very important," the site will still send me guys shorter than that... much shorter. My guess is that they assume that height is too petty to be a dealbreaker. However, it's not petty for little ol' me (pun intended)... it's practical. Despite my experience, I do know some normal-sized friends who have had good luck on the site.
By far the WORST site I've ever tried was TallFriends. I really should have known... The only men on this site are short dudes with tall-girl fetishes, which is just not for me. It gives me the creeps.
As for the other options, I can't weigh in, but I will say that I've heard mixed reviews of JDate. Part of me really wants to try ChristianMingle, only because the commercials are so corny.
What site do/did you use? Answer the survey below, and comment on this post with your thoughts.
I met my husband on OKCupid! Granted, we figured out we had mutual friends really quickly, and he turned out to be a brilliant Ivy League graduate, so I don't think I can extrapolate that out to meaning that OKCupid is full of awesome dudes, but still!
ReplyDeleteI did date a few weirdos from there, though. One brought a freakin gun on our first date, and tried to put his hand down my pants when we said goodnight. Another had the personality of cardboard, despite having the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. And another one would definitely fall into the "catfish" category.
I met several dudes on Match, all of which had mental issues. Yes, they were who they said they were, but so fucked up. One spent several hundred dollars on our first date, expecting that was enough to get me to put out. Another one, I dated for several months, talked marriage, all that, but later found out he hit the trifecta in his 20s: jail, rehab, and loony bin. It was 10 years ago, so I didn't care. Until he started drinking a handle of vodka over a weekend, and emailing random girls behind my back. Did I mention he recently got in touch with me, telling me he loves me? He's married. And, come to find out, his wife is due this week. Winner.
Eharmony? Way too religious for a heathen like me.
I think it's a matter of sheer luck on these sites. You can find good ones on all of them, but you just need to dig. And trust but verify.
My husband is only 5'7", by the way. I only wanted guys over 6 feet.